I will not give you the scientific version of what chronic Lyme disease is. That is easily found. The scientific aspect is finally being stretched to new expanses to learn the who, what, where, when, and hows of Lyme, but what we Lymies go through is just becoming known to the public.
Lyme disease for me means...
Lack of energy. Always feeling exhausted, even when you do not do anything. My body has a heavy, dragging feeling, almost like I can not get charged enough to make myself push forward.
Joint pain. There are times where EVERY joint in my body aches and feels like it needs to pop or feels so swollen and large. To be able to feel every vertebrae in your spine is one the weirdest feeling I have ever had, not to mention the tiny joints in your hands and feet. On a daily basis, though, I have sharp pains in my knees (primarily my left), hips, shoulders, and elbows.
Ligament pain. The surrounding areas of my joints are almost always sore to the touch, and when they are inflamed, it feels like it stretches the muscle connected to it, and causes muscle pain.
Skin rashes. I get these weird sores on my skin whenever I have a flareup. They leave scars, and take a long time to heal.
Cuticle fungus. I have to treat my nails with hydrogen peroxide once a week to keep the fungus at bay. Antibiotic did nothing to help it. if I do not try to control it, I get sore fingers and toes, hang nails, and messed up nails.
Hair loss. My hair has thinned out, though that can be caused from many different reason as well. I do have three children and a husband, I use coconut oil weekly on my hair, and after six months, I have noticed a difference in my hair. I will definitely continue.
Eye sight. When I am going through a flareup, there are times it seems like on of my eyes is really blurry, or can see through a small straw, will have bright flecks of something floating around. This actually does scare me when it occurs.
Then there is the fog. Cognitively there are so many things that occur, it is hard to realize that you may be going crazy from this. During really bad flareups I have had hallucinations. I have trouble remembering simple things. It sucks turning left immediately after you told yourself to turn right. My decision making skills are nonexistent at this time as well. What I mean by that is that I really cannot make a decision. My response to most things is "I don't know" There are times time goes by, and I do not even realize it. Almost as I am on auto pilot and I am watching as life is going by, and doing what I have to, but not quite amongst the aware. I also get electrical shocks flow through my body, intense hip pain that shoots stabbing pains through my legs, stiff neck, which cause migraines that make me sick to my stomach. Burning pain in muscle....feels exactly like when you run long distances and have a burning muscle....just no movement.
When I come out of the fog, I am playing make up for all I missed, didn't attend, or plain forgot, and hopefully get caught up before the next round attacks.
Lyme disease is also missed games, practices, concerts, play time, family time, personal and professional growth. It has not raped me of all of everything, but what I miss because of Lyme is not acceptable....though to have any peace, It needs to be accepted. The irony of life, i suppose.
Learning a new way of life, that you never once thought of, is a very challenging experience to say the least.
No comments:
Post a Comment